


Four Days After

by B_Uthoughtwrong



Series: Behind The Mask Is A Man [2]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 16:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7691329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_Uthoughtwrong/pseuds/B_Uthoughtwrong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It doesn't take more than four days for me to feel the heavy weight of my actions towards the people I care about. I mean, whoever told you four days isn't a long time was lying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Days After

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure if all the errors have been corrected, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.  
> Also, The Irony Of Choking On A Lifesaver is indeed a real song by All Time Low; check it out if you want to. xxx

It's been four days since the incident I had with Matt. Four days since I've seen him, or Foggy, or Karen. Four days since I've went to work. Four days since I've actually done something productive. Four days since my life got ruined. Four days. _Four_. _Days_.

 

Really, it feels like a lifetime.

Foggy and Karen have been trying to reach out to me, and have been calling me so much. So much so, I had to turn my phone off.

 

I've been crashing at my sister's house who lived just outside of Hell's Kitchen. She's a florist, a very successful one, considering her clients pay more than what I've made in my past jobs. Actually, present included. Her house was on the second floor of her flower shop and it made everything so easy for me. I didn't have to leave, I just went upstairs and downstairs, up & down. I stayed in the same building for 4 days straight. What a way to live.

Today was another boring day and I was spraying water the flowers as I thought of how useless I was. I mean, I couldn't even spray right; the spray bottle kept jamming. As I sighed in defeat, I sat back on _my_ chair, I mean, it wasn't _mine_ , my sister bought it, but this was my favorite thing about the flower shop, so I call it mine. It was by the window, in a corner of the room. It was cocooned by the smell of coffee, and flowers; the smell of coffee came from the café next to this shop. The view outside the window also contributed to why this blue, high chair was my favorite thing here. You never know who you'll see outside. One time, I swear I saw my eighth grade crush, walking his Pomeranian and Rottweiler.

When I look out the window, I saw so much beauty and so much tragedy all at once. And I now, as I looked outside the window after taking my much need break, that spray bottle was showing me **no mercy** , I saw a man wearing glasses, with a stick, tapping on the ground.

Obviously, that reminded me of _he who should not be named_.

I sighed at this cruel reminder that was ever-so generously given to me by the even crueler universe. Why must everything come to haunt me? WHY DO I DESERVE THIS?!

 

"Baby, you should go back to Hell's Kitchen." my sister said, breaking my train of thought as she walked towards me.  
"Also, no offence, but you look like _shit_." she added, getting the spray bottle I left on the counter by the register. I chuckled at what she said, "Wow, how could I ever take offence from such a _non-offensive_ thing?" I asked raising my brows and nodding my head in disapproval.

 

This made her laugh but she soon sighed and walked towards me in order to spray my face with water. I jolted back in surprise and wiped my face with frustration.

"Seriously though, you should go back to Hell's Kitchen." she said putting the spray bottle down on a shelf with all the other bottle sprays.  
"I thought you were going to say I seriously looked like _shit_." I said with a chuckle, crossing my arms, and rolling my eyes.  
"Darling, come on, you know you can't stay here forever. You're more useless than the broken wrench I have but never throw out because dad gave it to me and I'm sentimental." she said, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me as she did.  
"Wow, such good sister you are."  
"But you don't understand what I mean! You're useless to me. You're useless here. You're place is in Hell's Kitchen, with Foggy, and Karen, and... _Matt_." his name made me flinch. Just the mere mention of his name made me want to curl up in a ball of misery and disappear. You can only imagine what would happen if I saw him.

She's telling me I don't understand, but really it was her that didn't understand. Matt doesn't want me around because I'm dead weight, because he was far too important to Hell’s Kitchen and I would only ever be a distraction to him.  Not to mention the part where I had to think I was doing him a favor by following him in the dark of night and that I was invincible but I ended up getting kidnapped. Oh, and hey, I wanted to top all of that off with a _kiss_ , not because I wanted to repay him with it, but because I’m head-strong and always want to do what I want to do. A kiss that I already knew could never happen, a kiss he would never reciprocate because 1, he can't, he can't let himself love; he told me that himself but little me forgot all about that in the heat of the moment. And 2, he doesn't want to, he doesn't want to reciprocate these feelings. I mean honestly, I can't think of anyone who would want to love a girl as stubborn as me.

 

"You're doing it again. You're doing the thing, that damn annoying thing. You're _hyper-analyzing_ everything." my sister said, snapping me out of my thoughts. She raised a brow and crossed her arms. She hated me doing this, and claims that it is both one of my greatest features and worst downfall.  
"I told you, hyper-analyzing isn't a good thing to practice. Especially for you because you tend to always think about the bad parts of everything, you pessimistic _little girl_."

 _Little girl_ , Matt called me that... four days ago.

 

"It's not being _pessimistic_ , it's being _realistic_. I'm a realist, not a fake-ist, _little_ _girl_." I countered my sister.  
"I'm  four years older than **you**."  
"And yet who's _taller_?" I replied standing up from my seat, making her roll her eyes at me. "I AM OLDER, YOU SHALL SHOW ME RESPECT. MIND YOU I COULD'VE LEFT YOU ON THE STREETS TO DIE, BUT NO, I ACCEPTED YOU AND LET YOU STAY IN MY SHOP FOR 4 DAYS!" she said raising her voice but not really shouting.

"And that's why you're my favorite sister." I said hugging her.  
" _Little girl_ , I'm your _only_ sister." she replied pushing me away, walking towards a flower and fixing it in its place.

"But seriously, go back to Hell's Kitchen because you're needed there, not here. Don't be a useless, broken wrench."

* * *

 

 

I clenched my fists as I saw the hand written sign on a piece of paper that was taped on the door, **NELSON AND MURDOCK**. I sighed, then turned the door knob, and walked in.

"I--" but I did not get to say anything for Karen shouted my name, making everyone stop what they were doing. She pulled me into a hug; I saw Foggy smile my way while Matt just kept a blank expression.  
"You little _shit_ ; you had us all worried sick!" Karen said, sighing in relief.  
" _I'm sorry_... I went to my sister's flower shop, outside of Hell's Kitchen. I helped her out, because you know she's all _alone_ there." I said breaking away from Karen's embrace. I wasn't lying but I didn't really tell the real truth.

I kept it vague, avoiding saying detailed or direct answers, as I would end up having to lie and Matt would catch me red handed.

 

"Why didn't you answer any of our calls?" Foggy asked.  
"I turned my phone off; I needed to concentrate on _spraying_ _the_ _flowers_ with water, and/or pesticide." once again, I didn't lie; it's just not the real reasons why I did what I did.  
"Her shop was pretty busy, there were deliveries coming in almost every second." I said adding facts to my story, making it seem like she needed my help. "She must have had a hard time managing the shop by herself then."  
"I doubt she'd admit that, but I guess I helped as much as _I could_." Wow, I was good at this vague answering thing.

"Well, you have to help me with all the trash they have been dumping on me." Karen said handing me a pile of folders.  
"Yay." I replied getting the papers from her.

 

I went to my desk and started to sort out the files. I got a pen and sticky notes, adding some titles and names on them. Believe it or not, sorting things was one of my hobbies. I loved the sight of organized things which obviously meant I was not a fan of clutter. Yes, I am a _neat freak_.

 

After 5 minutes of dividing the files into multiple stacks, I heard a knock on the door. I gulped and thought of that _one person_ I do not want to have to deal with right now. I then turned to the source of the knock and saw that it was Foggy.

Both relief and disappointment rushed through me. "Hey _Fogs_. Can I help you with anything?" I asked, stopping what I was doing to turn to him.

"Oh, no. I-uh just wanted to check up on you." he said pursing his lips. "I mean, you did just return and you know-- I want to be a good co-worker and friend."

I cracked a small smile. "Thanks Foggy, but unless you want to help me with the sorting of these files, then there is nothing you can help me with right now."

He chuckled and said he'd pass on that offer as he did have things to do himself.

Once he was gone, I immediately continued to do what I was doing before he got here. I pulled out a pair of earphones out of my bag and listened to my playlist.

Man, these files needed immense attention. The folders I have are not enough for the papers and I'm all out of paper clips. Stretching for a brief second, I got off of my chair, my very uncomfortable chair. I walked out of my office and looked for some spare folders. "Hey, are there any available folders here? I got-" but I stopped myself as I realized I was not talking to anybody.

"Hello? Foggy? Karen?"  
"… _Matt_?" I added hesitantly.

 

I turned around and saw that Matt was there, standing, with his mouth moving but not really producing sound. I only then I realized this odd thing was Matt talking to me, as I scratched my itching ear and off came the earphone, allowing me to hear the outside world instead of _Moonlight Sonata_. The earphones were now resting on my shoulders.

 

"-oggy and Karen went out to get some food. They asked if you wanted anything but you, uh, were too busy with your work." he said, looking quite uneasy.  
"Oh, well, uh, I just wanted to know if there were any available folders I could use because I need them for the sorting of those files Karen gave me."  
"Oh, I think that there are some on, uh, Karen's desk." he replied walking towards me since I was quite near Karen's desk. I turned to her desk and saw that there were two folders that had nothing in-between them. "I'm... getting these two." I said reaching out for them.

 

I turned back to Matty and saw he was inches away from me and I looked at him, expectantly as we shared an awfully awkward silence.

 

"I was worried about you." he said, clenching his jaw.  
"Well, there's no need. I'm _alright_." I replied, trying to reassure him.  
"I thought a sicko had gotten a hold of you and took you as a hostage. I searched the whole of Hell's Kitchen for you… until I realized you were gone because you were avoiding _me_." he said walking a bit closer.

I felt my heart beat faster and this, to him, would've probably been so loud.

I didn't say anything which made him frown a bit. "So you did leave because of me. I mean, I guess that's better than every other assumption I had on why you were gone.”

 

"I-, uhm… it's nice to know that you'd look for me if I went missing." I said with a quick dismissive smile, and walked back to my office.

He was too quick though. He grabbed my arm and pulled me so that I would be facing him again before I could even walk away.

 

"I'd never _stop_." he said with an exhale. I looked at him and observed every inch of the man's beautiful face with his lips catching my eyes again.  
"I'd never stop looking for you until my last breath, until I've turned over every rock, looked in every corner, interrogated every person, exhausted every resource, used every second of everyday. I will never stop looking for you until I find you." he said inching closer to me as my breathing became noticeably irregular.  
"Wh-at if you can only find _pieces_ of me, cause they-they decided to cut me up." I said with a stutter as I bit my lower lip. I was playing with him because I didn’t want to turn sentimental.

"I would never let it come to that…" he said, sternly. “…but if it did come to that, I wouldn't stop looking until I piece you back together…" he said with a his hot breath hitting my face. "…and bring the whole of you back _home_."

I felt butterflies in my stomach and my hands sweat as I saw him lick his soft, pink lips, suggestively. His face and lips were so close to mine. I felt that same urge again, the same urge that got me into this mess in the first place.

I saw his eyes through his red tainted glasses and they looked like they were looking at my lips but I'd never really know that. Dozens of thoughts fly into my head and I wondered, maybe he wanted me to kiss him this time. Maybe this time he'll kiss me back. Maybe-

 

"Hey, we got you guys- _WOAH_!" Foggy's voice said making me jolt back and move as quickly away from Matt as I could.

 

"Uh, we can just come back if you want..." Foggy said making my cheeks heat up with sheer embarrassment. "Uh, no; what did you get me?" I asked, changing the conversation.

" _Meatball sub_ , your favorite." Karen said with a soft smile. "And ham and cheese for Matt." she added handing Matt and I a sandwich.  
“Thanks for remembering that was my _favorite_." I replied to Karen with a smile, taking the tin foiled food from her.  
"I also need these folders, by the way." I said, grabbing the two folders, and walking away from the awkward happening. "Oh, thanks for the sub." I added quickly.

 

"Okay, you're welcome." was the last thing I heard as I closed the door and retreated in my office, not really wanting to ever show my face again.

"Hello files, miss me?" I said, talking to the inanimate objects in front of me.

 

* * *

 It was 9pm the last time I checked the time. I finished the sorting out the files by then and, since I wasn't really doing anything else, I decided to help Karen out with her things.

I was sitting on a chair that was in front of Karen’s desk and was, once again, sorting out some files because it was her least favorite thing to do. " _So_ , I'm going on a limb and say that whatever was happening a while ago with you and Matt, was the reason why you suddenly thought of helping your sister who lived outside of Hell's Kitchen." Karen said, dropping her pen, and turning to me.

I put the papers I was holding down on my lap, and turned to Karen. I knew Matt would hear me if, even if he was in a different room but then an idea sprung into my head. I could use this opportunity to give an innuendo... is that _too_ wrong?

"It is..." I sighed and looked back at the papers.

" **I knew it**! I knew there was something going on between you two! I swear--" but I cut her off by shushing her loud voice. "Sorry, I just- _sorry_."  
"But what happened? Why did it lead to you leaving Hell's Kitchen?" she asked, placing both of her hands on the desk. I clenched my jaw, and placed the papers I was holding down on her desk, and sighed.

"I made a mistake, a huge one."

"What? Did you lose his favorite walking stick or something?" she asked sarcastically, raising her brows and chuckling.  
"No, something worse... I, uh, kissed him."  
" _What_? You kissed him? How is that a mistake? He is totally into you too!" she said genuinely surprised, making her shout once more.  
"Karen! _Voice_!" I replied, covering my face with my hands.  
"Sorry!" she whisper-yelled. "It's just- I don't understand how that would be _a_ _mistake_?" her voice was much softer and calmer now.  
"Well, for starters, I doubt he's 'totally into me too'" I said quoting her.

"No, don't be so oblivious. The way he looks at you--he actually looks at you when you talk, he always asks about you when you're gone, and if those aren't the obvious signs he likes you too, then maybe I should mention the fact he was the one who suggested we get you a meatball sub." she said in an as-a-matter-of-factly tone, pursing her lips.

I chuckled at that and felt my heart flutter a little at that.

 

"So, what did he say _after_ the kiss?" Karen asked.

"Does it matter-" I started, but she raised a brow at me which made me stop. "Okay, uhm, he told me I couldn't just go around and do whatever I want, then told me to leave and not come to work the next day. Then I asked why a second ago he was so warm, so inviting, then suddenly so cold, then I asked if he was waiting for a moment like this, a moment to throw me away all of a sudden, and then he said he was, and that, he wouldn't feel the same way.” I told Karen.

“But that doesn’t make any sense; he _likes_ you, he _really_ does.” she replied.

I bit my lower lip and sighed. “Well, let’s just say that he does, for the sake of the conversation. That doesn’t change the fact that Matty doesn’t want to get involved in a relationship because of what he does for a living.” I said.

 

Hold your horses, I wasn’t about to spill his secret just because he hurt me. I am a _way_ better person that that.

 

“He’s a **_lawyer_** and the law can get very _bloody_. I mean, no one wants their family to be hunted down so his solution is to not have a family.” I told Karen taking the two truths Matt’s occupations and meshing it to the one side of it.  
“But then he should know that because he knows the law, he can take anyone down to their grave. Honestly, you’d think a _lawyer_ who graduated **_summa cum laude_** would be smarter than _that_.” Karen said and rolled her eyes as she huffed out a breath of air.

I laughed at that and soon enough Karen joined in.

 

“ _Oooooh_ , what was the joke?” Foggy said out of the blue, with his hand on his shoulder bag.  
“That would be _none_ of your business.” Karen replied with a smirk.  
“Oh, come on! I need a joke right now, my head is melting and my back hurts!” he complained. “I need a drink. You girls wanna come with?”  
“Ugh, I really need a drink too but I still have these folders and--” Karen started but I cut her off.  
“You know what, go get a drink; I’ll finish this up. I was gone for 4 day, let me help.” I told her.  
“ _Really_?” Karen asked.  
“Yeah, go on. I’ll be fine, but save me a drink, okay?”  
“Okay, we will.” Karen replied, grabbing her bag as she did.

 

* * *

They had been gone for about half an hour or so, and I was now finished with everything. I went to my office, got my bag, and closed some of the lights. I then realized that Matt was still in his office, with the lights off; it’s not like he needed them anyway.

I then opened the light by the entrance of his room not really wanting him to be in the dark, all alone.

“Matty, I’m going to go to the bar with Foggy and Karen. Do you want to come with me?” I asked, turning entering his office.

He stopped reading with his fingers and put the paper in a folder.

“I, uh, think I’ll rather just go home and _get_ _some_ _rest_.” he replied getting his bag and walking towards me.  
“And by that do you mean, _‘go home and get some rest’_ or _‘go home, get the mask, and fight some bums’_?” I asked crossing my arms and acting as if nothing awkward ever happened between us.

 

He chuckled at what I said and nodded his head no; “I’m just honestly tired and really want to sleep.” he reassured me.  
“Are you sure? You know _I_ miss you.” **WHAT**? Did I honestly just say  that? “I mean, you know, you rarely get drinks with us and, uh, _we all_ miss you…” I tried to change what I said but shit, I can’t take it back.

He looked at me and I sighed. If I say the things I want to say, I can never take them back… do I really want to do this, now?

I stepped back and screwed my eyes shut. **Screw it.**  
“Damn it Matty. _I do_ , I do miss you. And I honestly _don’t want to_ because you made it very clear on how _you felt_.” I said raising my voice.

“Look, I honestly don’t want to be a wounded puppy right now, just… join us, have one drink, and then go home if you want.” I said to him.

He gripped the strap of his bag, and clenched his jaw. “I’ve been drinking _far_ too much since you left. I think that one more drink would be my very last.”  
I felt my heart break a little with what Matt said. We cannot keep going on like this. It’s not healthy for anyone. We stayed there in silence ‘til my impulsive ways crawled their way out.

“This is _bullshit_ Matt. Tell me the truth.” I started. “Is Karen right?” I asked, knowing that he heard what we were talking about a while ago.  
“Do you feel the same about me _too_?” I sucked in some air and held my breath.  
He turned to me and licked his bottom lip. He opened his mouth just to close it again. “ _No_.”  
“She’s _wrong_ ; I _don’t_ feel the same way and I don’t think I ever will.”

 

 _Fool_. I was a **_fool_**.

 

This was the most idiotic thing I have ever done. I exposed my heart just so it could get stabbed. I didn’t reply, for I would just further embarrass myself, so I just walked away with a tear falling from my eye.  
I ran down the stairs and got out of the building. I stood on the pavement for a while and composed myself. Maybe I should never talk to Matt again; he’s just going to make me want to assume all these things by giving mixed signals then completely tear me down, and I don’t want to get humiliated.

I huffed out and slapped my cheeks lightly. “I’m _strong and independent_. Hell’s Kitchen is **my** place, not _my sister’s flower shop_.” I told myself.

Every lie I told myself, ended up with me dying a bit inside. “Why does Matt like hurting me?”

“Why does he enjoy it so, so, so much?”

 

“ _I don’t_.”

 

I turned around and saw Matt with his hands in his pocket. “I’m so _sorry_.” he added walking towards me, making me instinctively slap him, hard on his face.

 

“NO! Stop! Stop **_fucking_ around with my emotions**.” I said remembering a song with the exact same line, _The Irony of Choking on a Lifesaver.  
_ “I’ve had enough of your _crap_. Don’t try and mend this because I’ve had it with your words, and your face, and YOU!” I spat out, as if the words were venom to my mouth.

I started to walk away but he grabbed and I was honestly too tired and helpless to shake away his grasp.  Plus I don’t want to push him away but to do otherwise will be extremely stupid of me. “I need to talk to you.” he said spinning me around, making me face him once more. I couldn’t help but slap him again so that he knew I didn’t want to be around him.

 

“I _deserved_ those.” he said clenching his jaw.

“Yes you deserve every single one of them, now say what you want to say, not that it matters in the least, so I can go get drunk and forget about you.” I replied crossing my arms and making it seem like his presence didn’t affect me.

 

“I am the _biggest_ idiot in the entire world. Karen was right; you’d think a lawyer who graduated _summa cum laude_ would be smarter than that.  
“I’m so stupid to think that pushing you away would mean you could have a better life but I see that the more I push you away, the more I hurt you.”

He let me go and gulped as I looked at his face. He looked very guilty and tiresome, and parted his lips and started to talk again.

“I understand that if I tell you how I _really_ feel about you, it won’t change the other things I’ve already said... but I’ll say it anyway because you deserve the truth.” he said with a huff of hot breath hitting my tear soaked face. _Damn right, I deserved the truth._

“I… am in love with you and have been for the longest of time. Whenever I feel your presence, my heart skips a beat. I look forward to smelling your scent, vanilla and chocolate. I like listening to your voice because it’s so soft and delicate yet so commanding and strong. I also like listening to your heartbeat and have memorized its pattern. I know that you don’t really like people invading your privacy and feel very uncomfortable when they do so, your heart beat quickens when it happens, but whenever I’m close to you, your heart quickens, but you don’t feel uncomfortable. You like that I’m close to you.” he said walking closer.

I, however, stepped away and looked away from him. “But I guess not right _now_.” he added, no longer moving closer.

“I technically wasn’t lying when I said I could never feel the same way you feel because I have grown too attached to you and I can hardly think straight when you’re not around, because I wonder where you are, and when you _are_ around, because I wonder if you think off me.  
“I always tell myself you’d be better off with someone else but whenever I picture you with another man, I feel myself break inside. It’s like losing another sense; it’s like losing a part of my heart.  
“I can’t tell you in words how much love I feel inside of me when you’re here. It’s like I’m a different person, it’s like the darkness within me wasn’t even there to begin with.”

“I can’t lose you... but I can’t have you because I no longer _deserve_ to.” he ended saying.

 

I walked closer to him and looked at him sternly, not that he could tell. “You, you don’t get to decide _how I feel_ and you  don’t get to decide if you _deserve me_ or not.”

“Only _I_ do.” I said placing my hands on either side of his face. “And _I_ say we stop hurting ourselves and give in to our feelings.”

 

With that I leaned in and pressed my lips on his. His lips were soft and plump and he instantly kissed me back. He then pulled me closer by placing his hands on my waist, one by the small of my back. Our lips brushed against each other and the feeling was warm and inviting. No one was taking dominance which made the kiss delicate and made me want to pull him even closer to me.

With every kiss, it made my heart flutter, made my body heat up, my stomach explode with fireworks, and my head was only thinking of him, and nothing else.

 

We broke away and caught our breath. “That was--” Matt started to say but I just shut him up by kissing him again, this time it was just a quicker press on the lips to cease his words from coming out.

“Don’t _spoil_ the moment.” I said making the both of us laugh.

 

“Shall we?” he asked offering his arm. I gladly entwined mine in his and we walked off. I didn’t really know where we were going but I could not care less.


End file.
